Image credit: Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash
Loving and losing an animal companion (or “pet”) can be hard. Research suggests that one of the best
things we can do to help ourselves heal is to talk about it with other people (Cleary et al, 2021). But
what about animals who have lost an animal companion or a human companion? Do they have grief?
And if so, what helps them heal?
People who call me with these questions often first focus on how their animal looks: “Is my dog
grieving? Her eyes always look a little sad, so it’s hard to tell!” It is a fair question. Dogs have facial
muscles—including the ones that create “puppy-dog eyes”—that make their expressions especially
compelling to humans (Kaminski et al., 2019; Waller et al., 2013), yet sometimes hard to decipher. Cats
can be equally difficult to read. A cat who withdraws under the bed could be grieving—or could be ill,
frightened, or wanting to be left alone. Fortunately, we do not have to rely on facial expressions or a
single behavior to recognize that something has changed and grief may be present.
Yes, Animal Grief Is Real
Scientists have documented animal responses to death and loss, including ritual behaviors (animal
funerals?) across a growing range of species. Elephants may linger near a family member’s body and
touch their bones. Dolphins have been observed carrying deceased calves. Primates may groom, guard, or remain beside a dead companion. Corvids gather around the bodies of other birds, sometimes calling
loudly. Across species, we see behaviors associated with the disruption of an important relationship:
searching, calling, standing vigil, withdrawing, eating less, sleeping differently, or seeking additional
contact (King, 2013; Monso, 2024). We cannot be sure whether these actions signal what we experience
as grief, but it seems quite possible they are or are similar.
Research involving companion animals shows similar patterns. After another household animal dies,
dogs may become less playful, eat less, vocalize more, or seek additional attention (Uccheddu et al.,
2022). Cats show changes, too, such as changes in eating, sleeping, playing, hiding, vocalizing, spending
time alone, and looking for the missing animal, especially the longer they had lived with (or spent time
with) their companion (Greene & Vonk, 2024; Walker et al., 2016).
Admittedly, all these studies rely primarily on human observations, which can be influenced by our own
grief or projection. Still, they strongly suggest that humans are not the only beings affected by the
absence of someone they love or care about.
Helping an Animal Who Is Grieving
• If an animal companion (or human) dies at home, consider giving surviving dogs or cats an
opportunity to approach, see, or smell the body. Do not force them to come close or expect a
particular reaction, though. One animal may sniff briefly and leave. Another may remain nearby.
Some may show no interest at all. Although research has not established that viewing the body
helps, this choice allows the surviving animal an opportunity to gather information rather than
having their companion just disappear abruptly (Walker et al., 2016).
• After a death, preserve familiar routines for remaining animals as much as possible. Keep meals
the same and offer consistent walk routines or playtimes, to help provide stability when a home
may feel different to them. Offer affection and interaction when an animal seeks them. It’s
crucial to respect beings who need solitude. Try food puzzles, brushing, or quiet time together.
At the same time, make sure you don’t ask (or demand!) that an animal “cheer up.” It’s also
important to avoid using the cat or dog as emotional support for your own grief. Give them the
respect to travel along their own grief journey in a way that meets their needs, not yours. (For
your grief, instead seek out pet loss support groups, end-of-life doulas, animal chaplains, or
therapists who specialize in animal companion loss.)
• Finally, remember that behavioral changes can also signal illness. Cats, especially, may conceal
their physical discomfort, so keep a close eye on them. If an animal stops eating, seems
physically unwell, or you notice severe or ongoing changes in their behavior, reach out to your
veterinarian.
We may never know precisely what death means to another animal. Each being’s grief and mourning
can be as diverse as those in humans. Our task may be less about interpreting their feelings perfectly
and more about being patient while they heal.
References:
Cleary, M., West, S., Thapa, D. K., Westman, M., Vesk, K., & Kornhaber, R. (2022). Grieving the loss of a
pet: A qualitative systematic review. Death Studies, 46(9), 2167–2178.
https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2021.1901799
Greene, B., & Vonk, J. (2024). Is companion animal loss cat-astrophic? Responses of domestic cats to the loss of another companion animal. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 277, 106355.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2024.106355
Kaminski, J., Waller, B. M., Diogo, R., Hartstone-Rose, A., & Burrows, A. M. (2019). Evolution of facial
muscle anatomy in dogs. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116 (29), 14677–14681.
https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1820653116
King, B. J. (2013). How animals grieve. The University of Chicago Press.
Monsó, S. (2024). Playing possum: How animals understand death. Princeton University Press.
Uccheddu, S., De Cataldo, L., Albertini, M., Coren, S., Da Graça Pereira, G., Haverbeke, A., Mills, D. S.,
Pierantoni, L., Riemer, S., Ronconi, L., Testoni, I., & Pirrone, F. (2022). Domestic dogs (Canis familiaris)
grieve over the loss of a conspecific. Scientific Reports, 12, 1920. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-05669-y
Walker, J. K., Waran, N. K., & Phillips, C. J. C. (2016). Owners’ perceptions of their animal’s behavioural
response to the loss of an animal companion. Animals, 6 (11), 68. https://doi.org/10.3390/ani6110068
Waller, B. M., Peirce, K., Caeiro, C. C., Scheider, L., Burrows, A. M., McCune, S., & Kaminski, J. (2013).
Paedomorphic facial expressions give dogs a selective advantage. PLoS ONE, 8 (12), e82686.
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0082686