I have found that imposter syndrome is something that comes up a lot for our Conscious Dying Coach and Sacred Passage End-of-Life Doula graduates. I know that it came up for me when I was working as a birth doula and it comes up frequently in my present End-of-Life work. It leads me to wonder who else might experience it and how might we address it here to provide some support to our readers. I believe that imposter syndrome arises where clinical melds with nonclinical, or when a person enters an arena where advanced knowledge and experience is present. So, I asked some of my co-workers to answer the question, what advice would you share with someone navigating imposter syndrome?  I think you will find their answers apply to us all, no matter what path we have chosen to walk!

When feelings or thoughts about being an "imposter" come up for you, consider it a gift. It's an opportunity to look at that belief and respond in a different way, to reframe it. You might say to yourself, "What does it mean that I think I'm somehow not fit to sit compassionately with another human being and listen to their heart and soul? How could that ever mean I'm an imposter?"

The imposter syndrome for me is when we get competency and worth mixed up in it, that I somehow don't have what it takes and am pretending.

It doesn't mean that it's not a good idea to learn more, to apprentice somewhere to gain more experience, to work with a variety of other end-of-life folks in your area, and make a plan for more study that will serve you.

But that doesn't make you more worthy -- it gives you more experience and knowledge as you continue to hone your craft of doula and coaching work.

Try substituting "I'm an imposter" with "I'm still learning and growing." It will likely shift your inner confidence.

Remember your humanity and your humility, both. The world needs compassionate humans like yourself who can hold these tender spaces of death, dying, grief, and loss...AND you can humbly acknowledge where you want to continue to learn and grow.     

~ Jan Booth, MA, RN, NC-BC, Conscious Dying Collective Faculty

 

Keep fighting those negative feelings. They come from your past and they are not who you are. Do not let them destroy your future. It has no power over you.   

~ Nedra Miller, Conscious Dying Collective Online Teaching Assistant

 

Talking daily to people with amazing stories, heartfelt experiences, and diverse perspectives, I find myself often in a state of imposter syndrome. It took me some time to find my place in the company of these amazing beings, and what came to me is when you care deeply, are curious and push yourself to a sometimes uncomfortable edge of the unknown, you feel more alive.  When I lean into knowing what my heart calls me toward, along with my limitless quest to learn more, I find my happy place of connecting with people on an emotional level, and it gives me so much joy, and a sense of belonging.  Like anxiety, imposter syndrome can be a good thing in some circumstances, I feel it makes me a better leader, and keeps me open and curious to the organic mystery and miracles along life's path. Lean into what you do know to be your superpower, while leaning into what you don't know by staying curious, and know it is enough to care deeply about how you show up in the world.

~ Elizabeth Padilla, Conscious Dying Collective Founder and Director

 

It’s common, it comes from our fear of not being perfect, and guess what? We’re not. I also am not sure we want to overcome the feeling. It leads us to pick up our courage and eagerness to continue to learn and grow. Remind yourself of your training, skills, and experiences through the course, focus on the wonderful relationships you developed that enable you to have resources across the world, and keep in mind that your work will strengthen you with every client you serve.

Be kind to yourself, and remember you’ve got so much to share.

~ Terri Law, LPN, Conscious Dying Collective Online Teaching Assistant

 

You have enough, you do enough, you are enough.

 

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